I'm Just Tryna See Where You're Comin' From

            The moment she raised her voice and yelled at me, I knew the conversation was over… My fellow coworkers and I were all astonished to witness such an unprofessional act performed by our manager who always did her best to maintain her composure in any given situation.

            It happened at the bank I used to work at. (I left because of the unfair bullshit and treatment from my manager, and am now currently employed by another bank). It was myself and several coworkers getting ready to close the branch down. As we proceeded with our usual routines, my manager decided to implement a new procedure in our closing duties. When she explained to us what it was, there was confusion amongst all of us as to why she decided to change the normal process which has already been proven to be the most effective. I decided to voice my opinion and question her to figure out why she is altering the procedure to get a better understanding of her perspective. I wasn’t being rude or disrespectful, and I even thought of it as there was a mutual unspoken understanding between us that we were just having a productive debate. However, as I continued to question her and give her my reasoning, she suddenly raised her voice and began to yell at me to “be quiet” and “end of conversation”. I was appalled just like everyone else in the room.

            At the time, I was unaware that there was a term for such a thing. That term is “cooperative argument” which is defined as “a model of argument that manages the resolutions of disagreement within a set of rules that are responsive to intercultural differences”. It can also be described as “seeking to understand vs compete”. Although this topic was recently covered in class, it put the situation mentioned above in perspective for me. After the incident, I apologized to my manager and made it clear to her that I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful and I was only seeking to understand her point of view on the issue. However, she shut me down and said I was “undermining her authority”. Although unaware at the time, it is clear to me that I did not approach the situation in a wrong manner because it was a form of cooperative argument. I sought to understand, but she just decided to blow up on me for no reason. But upon learning the term it made me feel better because it made me feel as though I won in that situation.